"Silent Hill: Revelation" review by Chris

The first "Silent Hill" could be broken down into two parts: the first was an hour ripped straight from the video games with barely a handful of functional changes to make it work better on film. The second hour was when the film slowly deteriorated from complete fan service to a mass of confusing plots and bloody gore. "Revelations" aims to right the wrongs of the first film by diving head long into the game’s mythos while using modern horror techniques.

The result repairs the damage done to the story, but the byproduct is that it can only be understood by fans that know the games. The scary stuff also works against the plot. While the story thrives on the unknown and tries to keep you guessing, the scares focus on an abundance of shocking pop-in gimmicks and blood. This, mixed with the rushed feel of the film, decreases the value of both, leaving another muddled mess.

The score also suffers from a similar unbalance and the acting is average. Only the special effects shine as disturbingly beautiful, but it's far from enough to make this anything more than a mindless horror flick. Fans of the video games will adore the plot, but everything else will disappoint even the most diehard. If you're in the mood for an average mindless horror film, look no further, but I'd recommended renting a classic.

2 "severed arms" out of 5

Written by Chris

Edited by Aaron

"Hotel Transylvania" review by Chris

For years Dracula has been feared and hunted. To protect his daughter, Mavis, from these horrors, he built a hotel for monsters to seek refuge, but as Mavis gets older this isn't enough for her. All seems well until a human stumbles into the castle. Now Dracula must fight to keep him a secret or lose "Hotel Transylvania" and his daughter forever.

And that's about all you need to know. The plot is heartwarming but predictable; the characters are fun and the script light hearted. All the voice actors deliver and the animation is pretty. There aren't any major bumps or snags that stop this from being an enjoyable film for all ages, there just isn't anything special about it either. A couple of the jokes stand out and there's a strong "learn to let go" moral for parents, but this is a film obviously directed towards children and they will enjoy it.

If you have any interest in the classic monsters or are just looking to have a good time with your kids, you should check this film out, just don't expect to be blown away.

3 "Vampires" out of 5

 Review by Chris

Edited by Aaron

"Resident Evil: Retribution" review by Chris

I guess the time has come for yet another Resident Evil film. It's easy to brush this one off without giving it a chance, but it's actually not as bad as the last couple of films. That isn't to say it redeems the franchise or even that it's a good film, just better than its predecessors.

 Milla Jovovich returns as Alice, and despite an obvious attempt to humanize her by giving her a daughter, she remains aloof and robot-like. What makes this film better are the action and set pieces. The movie captures the video game formula by having Alice and company travel through multiple simulated environments, each reflecting a different part of the world with different monsters. Each locale represents a different video game level, giving the director a lot to work with.

 With the series’ finally returning to full videogame formula, the only problem remaining is that it still isn't a Resident Evil game. What we have here is a mindless action film that can't accept what it is. It attempts to make viewers “feel” for these characters with “emotions” but fails on every level. Part of it is that characters take so many bullet wounds and severe beatings while remaining in perfect health that often they don't even seem human anymore.

 The sound design should also be noted... as the worst part of the film. All the voices sound like they were dubbed over in editing and don't connect with mouth movements. The sound track repeats several monotonous songs, all of which are overly loud and sound like a portion of a "final fight" song looping. The only time the sound design works is when everyone shuts up and starts shooting.

 "Retribution" could have been the first film in this franchise since the original that I gave a pass too, but unnecessary plots and horrific sound work take away from the amazing action. It may work as a mindless action film for some, but it continues to drag the resident evil name through the mud. Luckily director Paul W. S. Anderson stated that the 6th and final film will only be made if "Retribution" is a success, so maybe the series will finally die here. Let’s all cross our fingers.

 

1.5 "Long Dead Corpses" out of 5

 Written by Chris

Edited by Aaron

"Paranorman" review by Chris, Illustration by Tim

Norman is a boy who can see and talk to the dead, but when his gifts make him an outcast, he can't even trust his own family to be there when he needs them. A curse from a witch and a zombie attack  drive the story forward, but Norman's struggle to be accepted is what give this film heart. The oddball collection of other characters never get their own tales, but each gives a unique perspective on Norman, which helps "Paranorman" become something more than just a children's film. 

Let's get this out of the way: I could gush over this film’s animation for days. Laika Inc. continues to show unparalleled talent for stop-motion animation, and it is simply a wonder to behold. The only way this film could fail is with poor voice acting, but the cast delivers strong performances on all fronts. With all the actors bringing their A-game, it’s hard to even pick one that stands out from the crowd.

The music and visuals hearken back classic 70's horror films, giving longtime fans of the genre something extra. The comedy is geared towards children, but there is a smattering of adult focused jokes. The story has a level of depth not seen in most animated movies, and it carries strong morals, which makes this film wonderful for all ages.

This isn't to say "Paranorman" is perfect. At several points the movie struggles with its identity: the occasional joke during a serious moment or a scare during comedic scenes show a lack of focus, but it’s still a spectacular film.

"Paranorman" is a gripping story with lots of laughs, and there's really nothing left to say but go see it.

4 "Zombies" out of 5

Written by Chris

Edited by Aaron

"The Watch" review by Chris

"The Watch" is a movie that plays out exactly as you’d expect, so I’ll keep it short and sweet: Evan, played by Ben Stiller, gathers a group of three other normal guys to search for murderous aliens. It’s a basic Ben Stiller plot with a group of screwball guys in abnormal circumstances, and while it sets up lots of opportunities for comedy, it never knows what to do with them. 

 The jokes tend to start strong, but then they linger, until their dried up husks riddle the movie from beginning to end. Interlaced with the occasional serious moment to help the audience connect with the characters, the film’s protagonists have few real problems that carry any weight with a spectator. Slowing things down further is a lack of enthusiasm from the cast — Vince Vaughn and Jonah Hill tone down their usual routine a little, but still mostly just act like themselves. Richard Ayoade at first seems like he might be a breath of fresh air, but ends up falling flat like the others.

None of this is to say that you can't find enjoyment in "The Watch." Some jokes work well, but none are enough to keep this from being an utterly forgettable waste of time.

1.5 "Neighborhood Watches" out of 5

Written by Chris

Edited by Aaron

Movie Review Catch-up by Chris

Spoiler Alert may have been off the Internet for a while, but that doesn't mean we haven't been at the theater! We might have been busy, fleeing from werewolf Swiss-banker assassins or even dead, but you’ll never know. Here are some quick reviews of a few movies we managed to catch while hiding out in theaters (they’re like kryptonite to those WSBAs).


"Brave"

While it falls slightly short of the standards set by previous Pixar films, "Brave" still delivers great comedy, thrilling action and also delivers a punch as a well executed "girl power" story. Our protagonist, Merida (Kelly Macdonald), just wants a chance to be her own woman and avoid following in the footsteps of her Mother, the Queen. Through a bizarre spell that transforms the queen into a bear, both characters begin to better understand one another as the Pixar storytellers once again prove their talent for subtly with the Queen’s wordless communication. Although lacking the grandeur of many Pixar films, "Brave" is still a beautiful movie that should be experienced.

4 "Bulls-eyes" out of 5

"Seeking a Friend for The End of the World"

Brilliant performances and a heartwarming story should have made this one for the ages, but lackluster editing and an overabundance of pointless cameos drag the film down. Director Lorene Scafaria doesn't shy away from the tougher problems that come with an apocalypse, and throughout the film Dodge (Steve Carell) and Penny (Keira Knightley) meet countless others and experience multiple ways of handling the end of the world. Without giving too much away, let’s just say several of those are very dark. The film adds some interesting perspectives on the topic, but extra characters clog it up, and keep the heartfelt story of Dodge and Penny from reaching full potential. Saved mostly by the acting, this film survives in the middle when it could have flown high, like a flaming meteor of doom.

2.5 "asteroids" out of 5

"Ted"

Thanks to a unique take on the buddy film and some solid writing, "Ted" starts strong right out the gate. Mark Wahlberg and Seth McFarlane both give it all they have, and carry the film. The remaining cast adds more humor and depth without subtracting from the absurdity. But the film also suffers from similar problems as Seth McFarlane's "Family Guy” — much of the humor is reliant on an audience’s knowledge of pop and nerd cultures, and some jokes outstay their welcome while others won't hold up to repeat viewings. Despite the minor problems, if you can't laugh at this film on your first go-around, you should have your pulse checked — you might be dead inside.

3.5 "Teddy Bears" out of 5

"Amazing Spider-man"

Spider-man is back on the big screen with a return to the beginning. Attempting to add freshness and youth, this new origin story takes on darker tones than the originals, and follows Peter (Andrew Garfield) through his teen years. This works for most parts, but falls to pieces in others. Although Peter and Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone) are both fantastic characters, their love story feels childish and fake. The story slows down at too many points, making the 136 minute length feel unexpectedly long. Spider-man’s signature quips also occasionally contrast with darker scenes and seem a little out of place. An interesting story and great action keep the film entertaining — it may not be "Amazing," but it establishes the potential for something much greater in the sequel.

3 "Web shooters" out of 5

Written by Chris
Edited by Aaron

"Prometheus" Review by Chris

Ridley Scott goes back to his roots to direct a semi-prequel to his hit film "Alien." Taking place three decades before the first film, "Prometheus" asks if our race may have its origins in the stars. To search for the answer, a team of scientists goes on an expedition to an uncharted portion of space that was mapped out by ancient civilizations. But the real question of this film is whether this a return to form for the director or just another sequel to a long dead franchise.

The story hooks you right out of the gate. Before you realize it, you're caught up in the lives of scientist Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace) and Charlie Holloway (Logan Marshall-Green) and searching for answers alongside them. Along the journey you'll also meet David (Michael Fassbender), an android with a mysterious mission of his own. All the characters will keep you wondering what's coming and where their motivations lie, but Fassbender’s character steals the show with his humor and intrigue. The remaining cast all give outstanding performances, but none of them are key to the main story and are easily forgotten when it's all over.

But when it all wraps up, you'll realize the Mr. Scott forgot something: close to none of the mysteries get resolved. After the halfway point it feels like all the answers to the riddles are just around the corner, but the characters just keep going in different directions. It makes you wonder what the ending will bring, but Scott goes for a tacked on finale that does little but allude to the fact that it's a prequel to "Alien."

With such great acting, amazing visuals and an engrossing universe, it's disappointing to know the story will give you nothing. Even the plot twists are underwhelming and predictable. It’s an interesting film with unique ideas, but do yourself a favor and don’t expect the unexpected.

3 "Weyland Ships" out of 5

Written by Chris

Edited by Aaron

"Men in Black 3" Review by Chris

Because new ideas are overrated, Columbia Pictures is bringing us yet another "Men in Black" movie.  True to uninspired sequel form, this time around Agent J (Will Smith) must travel back to the past to save his partner. During his journey he'll face countless time travel clichés and plot holes. Despite the “not again” smeared all over this storyline, is there a chance that the third time's the charm?

To start, great acting has never been a problem for the "Men in Black" series. Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones roll up to this movie with all their skills hanging out. Newcomer Josh Brolin more than fills the role of Young Agent K — his portrayal of Tommy Lee Jones is terrifyingly accurate. The banter between Agent K and J is, as it's always been, the highlight of the film. Every moment they’re together you bottle your laughter to make sure you don't miss the next punch line. Jemaine Clement, who plays the toothy and villainous Boris the Animal, is less up to snuff. His story and dialogue are generic and the actor brings nothing to the role to make it unique.

The story is just as generic as the trailers imply. Agent J travels back in time to save his partner and thus prevent an alien invasion. Along the way he'll see the secrets of his partner’s past, and learn a few things about his own. There are very few surprises, but the ones that are there are enough to keep the film moving and give it heart. Time traveling also provides nonstop moments for comedy. Whether it's blatant comments on Andy Warhol's paintings or more subtle visual cues, there are plenty of laughs.

Sadly, "Men in Black 3" also has many flaws. Several of the questions early on go either unexplained or are totally underwhelming. The story isn’t friendly to new fans, and there is very little explanation of the characters. It’s best to watch to first two before seeing this one. Fans of the original will also be disappointed that some of the plot of the first two are completely ignored.

So is "Men in Black 3" the intergalactic success this series deserves? No. It fails to fill the shoes of the first film, but is light years beyond the second film. Great acting, an amazing script and bizarre situations make this a fun experience that should be seen.

3.5 "Neuralizers" out of 5

Writing and Image by Chris

Edited by Aaron

"The Avengers" review by Chris, Illustration by Tim

            There are hundreds of ways to approach a review of "The Avengers," but the most important aspect of this film is its potential to influence movies and the super hero genre as a whole. Rarely has something of this scope been attempted by Hollywood. The concept of bringing together four distinct super hero franchises into one movie that encompasses them all and more is daunting. If done correctly, this film could inspire many more like it, and change the way Hollywood functions, but if it fails it could stop anything like it from happening again.

            Luckily, Director Joss Whedon was more then up to the task. He honors each of the original five movies without lingering too long on any one. The film’s focus is on how the team interacts and slowly grows together. Whether it's the lack of communication or clashing personalities, it is clear early on that none of the heroes are going to be instant best friends. Their arguments help each character grow as a team, but also supply the humor of the film. Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.) is particularly hilarious, and hopefully this level of comedic writing will transfer into his next film.

            But never you fear: this film isn't all about drama and character interaction either. The fights are plentiful and diverse. Each character gets a chance to shine in battle, bringing their unique styles and personalities into play. Captain America's (Chris Evans) amazing agility is spectacularly over the top, and Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) brings a brutality the others can't match. Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) is the only one left out of the spot light, but during the final fight he's entertaining enough to make you wonder what Marvel will do with him next.

            "The Avengers" isn't without it's minor flaws. There’s a not unexpected reliance on knowledge of the past films that may leave newcomers confused. All of the heroes get their moment, but none change drastically for better or worse. The comedy, although brilliantly written, is almost non-stop and comes from all sides at once, making it a bit much at points. But my gripes with this film are few and far between, and none of them keep it from being fantastic.

            Only time will tell if "The Avengers" succeeded at changing the way the genre works, but it proved the potential is there. Stellar acting, an amazing script and brilliant direction make this one of the best superhero action films to date. Fans, nerds and regular Joes get more than they could ever ask for, and I personally can't wait to see what's next.

            4.5 “Super Heroes” out of 5

Written by Chris

Edited by Aaron

Illustration by Tim