"The Watch" review by Chris

"The Watch" is a movie that plays out exactly as you’d expect, so I’ll keep it short and sweet: Evan, played by Ben Stiller, gathers a group of three other normal guys to search for murderous aliens. It’s a basic Ben Stiller plot with a group of screwball guys in abnormal circumstances, and while it sets up lots of opportunities for comedy, it never knows what to do with them. 

 The jokes tend to start strong, but then they linger, until their dried up husks riddle the movie from beginning to end. Interlaced with the occasional serious moment to help the audience connect with the characters, the film’s protagonists have few real problems that carry any weight with a spectator. Slowing things down further is a lack of enthusiasm from the cast — Vince Vaughn and Jonah Hill tone down their usual routine a little, but still mostly just act like themselves. Richard Ayoade at first seems like he might be a breath of fresh air, but ends up falling flat like the others.

None of this is to say that you can't find enjoyment in "The Watch." Some jokes work well, but none are enough to keep this from being an utterly forgettable waste of time.

1.5 "Neighborhood Watches" out of 5

Written by Chris

Edited by Aaron

“The Dark Knight Rises” Review & Comic by Tim

     “The Dark Knight Rises” was never going to be the cultural touchstone that its
predecessor, 2008’s “The Dark Knight” became. That said, “Rises” is an excellent
bookend to director Chris Nolan’s trilogy and a very satisfying conclusion for what I
think will be considered the definitive Batman series for the foreseeable future. Go
see it. It’s worth it. It’s easily the best “Part 3” movie I’ve ever seen. It’s awesome. It’s
great. It’s full of much of the same things that made the last two awesome and great.
It’s darn good.

     Okay. That’s that. I wanted to stress early on that I really liked “The Dark Knight
Rises” (Really, I did!). It was very enjoyable, but I also have some fundamental
problems with it.

     Christopher Nolan is known for making movies that force the audience to think. He’s
kind of a match made in heaven for a superhero who is known for his quiet,
brooding intellect. Having said that, much of 2008’s “The Dark Knight” is dedicated
to Batman grappling the morality of his mission: Is it okay to kill villains in order to
serve the greater good? Ultimately, he refuses to kill the Joker and instead he quite
literally leaves him hanging. But then in the next and final scene of the movie, he
tackles the murderous Two-Face (former do-gooder D.A. Harvey Dent) off a building
to save Commissioner Gordon’s son. Two-Face dies in the fall while Batman lives
and agrees to take the blame for Dent’s crimes. Little to no attention is paid to the
fact that Batman just killed a guy. I don’t understand — are we not supposed to
think about it?

[From here on out, SPOILER ALERT!]
     Then we open up “The Dark Knight Rises” eight years later, and Harvey Dent is still
remembered as the District Attorney who helped wipe Gotham City clean of
organized crime. The public believes that the Batman murdered Harvey Dent. But
wait, Batman DID kill Harvey Dent. I know the point is that Batman took the fall for
crimes he didn’t commit, but Harvey Dent’s murder isn’t one of them. This is,
however, an argument of semantics and fairly easy to overlook.

     In the wake of Dent’s death, Gotham has become a kind of police state, with
criminals denied parole and often unable to plead insanity. Crime is at an all-time
low and all is well in Gotham, or so it seems. The League of Shadows (the group of
balance-restoring eco-terrorists from “Batman Begins”) is back to finish the work of
Ra’s Al Ghul, who was played by Liam Neeson in “Begins.” ( This is presumably
because every good “threequel” tends to hearken back to the first film.) This time
around, the terrorists are led by Bane (Tom Hardy), a mysterious figure who was
once excommunicated from the League for his savage brutality. The plot unfolds,
thickens, and takes numerous twists and turns, yadda yadda yadda. By the way, I
LOVED the twist. You know. The big one. Not the final twist or the one before that…
but the big one. Yeah. That one.

[MAJOR SPOILERS!]
     Apart from a few pacing issues (I think the Dark Knight actually rises two or three
times in this movie), and the aforementioned logic issues, I have one more problem
with “The Dark Knight Rises.” And really, it just comes down to my own opinion.

     I know that this is the last Batman movie for Nolan and company. I know he wanted
to wrap up his (and Bruce Wayne’s) story, and I do think it’s elegantly done and
Batman couldn’t ask for a better send-off. But for my money, Bruce Wayne would
never quit being Batman. Ever. The way I see it, and I think Bruce sees it this way
through most of the film, his parent’s deaths rocked him so badly that the rest of his
life becomes a battle to the death between the Batman and crime itself. It’s very
satisfying as a moviegoer to see Bruce Wayne sort of ride off into the sunset with
Catwoman, but as a fan of Batman, I’m not so sure. After all, it’s his strong personal
drive, which is the same drive that compels him to fight crime dressed up as a bat,
and makes him such a magnetic character in the first place.

     As good as the first two? Nah, but still a great finale in its own definitive way.

4 YOU-KNOW-WHO’s out of 5!
® ® ® ® ;-)

Movie Review Catch-up by Chris

Spoiler Alert may have been off the Internet for a while, but that doesn't mean we haven't been at the theater! We might have been busy, fleeing from werewolf Swiss-banker assassins or even dead, but you’ll never know. Here are some quick reviews of a few movies we managed to catch while hiding out in theaters (they’re like kryptonite to those WSBAs).


"Brave"

While it falls slightly short of the standards set by previous Pixar films, "Brave" still delivers great comedy, thrilling action and also delivers a punch as a well executed "girl power" story. Our protagonist, Merida (Kelly Macdonald), just wants a chance to be her own woman and avoid following in the footsteps of her Mother, the Queen. Through a bizarre spell that transforms the queen into a bear, both characters begin to better understand one another as the Pixar storytellers once again prove their talent for subtly with the Queen’s wordless communication. Although lacking the grandeur of many Pixar films, "Brave" is still a beautiful movie that should be experienced.

4 "Bulls-eyes" out of 5

"Seeking a Friend for The End of the World"

Brilliant performances and a heartwarming story should have made this one for the ages, but lackluster editing and an overabundance of pointless cameos drag the film down. Director Lorene Scafaria doesn't shy away from the tougher problems that come with an apocalypse, and throughout the film Dodge (Steve Carell) and Penny (Keira Knightley) meet countless others and experience multiple ways of handling the end of the world. Without giving too much away, let’s just say several of those are very dark. The film adds some interesting perspectives on the topic, but extra characters clog it up, and keep the heartfelt story of Dodge and Penny from reaching full potential. Saved mostly by the acting, this film survives in the middle when it could have flown high, like a flaming meteor of doom.

2.5 "asteroids" out of 5

"Ted"

Thanks to a unique take on the buddy film and some solid writing, "Ted" starts strong right out the gate. Mark Wahlberg and Seth McFarlane both give it all they have, and carry the film. The remaining cast adds more humor and depth without subtracting from the absurdity. But the film also suffers from similar problems as Seth McFarlane's "Family Guy” — much of the humor is reliant on an audience’s knowledge of pop and nerd cultures, and some jokes outstay their welcome while others won't hold up to repeat viewings. Despite the minor problems, if you can't laugh at this film on your first go-around, you should have your pulse checked — you might be dead inside.

3.5 "Teddy Bears" out of 5

"Amazing Spider-man"

Spider-man is back on the big screen with a return to the beginning. Attempting to add freshness and youth, this new origin story takes on darker tones than the originals, and follows Peter (Andrew Garfield) through his teen years. This works for most parts, but falls to pieces in others. Although Peter and Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone) are both fantastic characters, their love story feels childish and fake. The story slows down at too many points, making the 136 minute length feel unexpectedly long. Spider-man’s signature quips also occasionally contrast with darker scenes and seem a little out of place. An interesting story and great action keep the film entertaining — it may not be "Amazing," but it establishes the potential for something much greater in the sequel.

3 "Web shooters" out of 5

Written by Chris
Edited by Aaron

"Prometheus" Review by Chris

Ridley Scott goes back to his roots to direct a semi-prequel to his hit film "Alien." Taking place three decades before the first film, "Prometheus" asks if our race may have its origins in the stars. To search for the answer, a team of scientists goes on an expedition to an uncharted portion of space that was mapped out by ancient civilizations. But the real question of this film is whether this a return to form for the director or just another sequel to a long dead franchise.

The story hooks you right out of the gate. Before you realize it, you're caught up in the lives of scientist Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace) and Charlie Holloway (Logan Marshall-Green) and searching for answers alongside them. Along the journey you'll also meet David (Michael Fassbender), an android with a mysterious mission of his own. All the characters will keep you wondering what's coming and where their motivations lie, but Fassbender’s character steals the show with his humor and intrigue. The remaining cast all give outstanding performances, but none of them are key to the main story and are easily forgotten when it's all over.

But when it all wraps up, you'll realize the Mr. Scott forgot something: close to none of the mysteries get resolved. After the halfway point it feels like all the answers to the riddles are just around the corner, but the characters just keep going in different directions. It makes you wonder what the ending will bring, but Scott goes for a tacked on finale that does little but allude to the fact that it's a prequel to "Alien."

With such great acting, amazing visuals and an engrossing universe, it's disappointing to know the story will give you nothing. Even the plot twists are underwhelming and predictable. It’s an interesting film with unique ideas, but do yourself a favor and don’t expect the unexpected.

3 "Weyland Ships" out of 5

Written by Chris

Edited by Aaron