"Sucker Punch" Review by Chris

Suspend your disbelief and know that dreams can become reality. "Sucker Punch" is an amalgam of video game storytelling and anime action. Both are known for their over the top natures, but director Zack Snyder takes them so high they hit the moon. If you have trouble with action that defies reality, then stop right now — this movie isn't for you.

Like the video games it steals its structure from, Baby Doll (Emily Browning) is a silent hero whose few lines are delivered in a monotone droll. Her past traumas have driven her unwillingly into a mental facility for women where she fights for her freedom. But until the last fifteen minutes, Baby Doll's two-dimensional personality gives no reason for you to be interested in her. What drives the story forward is two other patients: Sweet Pea and Rocket, played by Abbie Cornish and Jena Malone respectively. The stories behind their past lives and motivations for fighting inject a soul into the film. Amber and Blondie, the other important patients, add varying perspectives to the situation but do little to better the story.

Baby Doll gathers the four girls to plan their spectacular escape using their imaginations. This amounts to fighting armies of enemies through fantastic worlds to find a single object. If they can survive each of the four worlds and locate the tools they need, their freedom is guaranteed. In their dream world each character gains a new fetish outfit that seems more suited for eye candy than for battle. They perform over the top stunts that are only possible in our wildest imaginations, but are sometimes pushed to a point of such ridiculousness that it can be humorous. The story doesn't reach its potential till the very end, but the conclusion justifies the first hour of emotionless visual delights.

Zack Snyder films are well known for there heart stopping action and mind blowing visuals. "Sucker Punch" pushes his abilities to the limit and delights all the senses. His signature slow motion scenes feel better planned and technically enhanced. Each world is well thought out and has a unique visual feel. The over arching story is a delight for the mind and will keep you thinking even after the screen goes black. But it also disappoints by having nothing to keep you interested in the individual moments. Zack Snyder proves he can create innovative visuals, but without source material to work with he lacks the skills to create an equally strong story.

The sound track is great and suits the intensity of the film, but often gets lost in the explosions and gunfire. Luckily, very little dialogue is used during the battles so the story isn't lost along with the music. The script can be just as intense, but with Baby Doll’s emotionless performance you have to rely on her teammates to drive the story. The other four patients pull at your heartstrings but don't get the screen time they rightly deserve. This doesn't ruin the film but keeps it from becoming truly brilliant.

"Sucker Punch" is a spectacle to behold and has a story that comes together in the end, but the weak beginning makes it a hard journey to care about. Without a compelling main character, as a fellow filmgoer said, ‘it’s “fan service” the movie, and I'm okay with that.’

I give it 3 deadly hotties out of 5.

Written by Chris
Edited by Aaron

"Paul" Review by Chris

Let’s get this out of the way early. "Paul" has its flaws as a movie. There are countless unnecessary vulgarities that get old quick, many of the cameos feel tacked on and the story is predictable. But none of these problems bring this entertaining journey to a grinding halt, and it's a trip that should be taken, but maybe not by all crowds.

Simon Pegg and Nick Frost join together once again to play a sci-fi artist and a writer who are doing a tour of American alien landmarks. Along the way they meet Paul, an alien on the run who's voiced by Seth Rogen. From that point on it's a classic road trip movie. The cast is rounded out with several well-known faces like Jason Bateman. Each character starts out stereotypical, but they become relatable by the end of the movie.

This is Seth Rogen's best film. He utilizes his typical weed smoking, rude humored persona, but adds heart and depth to Paul that wasn’t in his previous roles. Throughout the film, Paul helps the other characters grow, and there are many surprises along the way. Director Greg Mottola also finds different ways to use Simon Pegg and Nick Frost than Edgar Wright, who directed the pair in "Hot Fuzz."

The quality of the film work isn't anything to brag about, but it does its job. What really impresses from a visual standpoint is our CG hero, Paul himself. He's highly detailed: Right down to the veins under his skin and the moister in his eyes. Every time he goes invisible or revives the dead, it's gorgeous. Rogen’s voice work becomes an integral part of Paul through seamless animation.

As I mentioned previously, this film might not be enjoyable for all. Half of the humor is crude, and more often than not, involves drugs, sex, alcohol and vulgarities. There are lots of references to drugs, sex and alcohol. With some violence mixed in with the vulgarities, this movie definitely earns it's R rating. And finally, two important warnings, first, some of the humor is meant to be understood only by my fellow nerds, and second, this movie brutally attacks people who deny evolution, so if you think we descended from heaven and not from the Great Apes, give this movie a skip. "Paul" is going to offend some, but for most it will have you laughing your way to another galaxy.

I give it Four "Mother ships" out of Five

Written by Chris
Edited by Aaron

"Paul" Review by Tim

            “Paul” is a pastiche of the alien encounter genre. Unlikely heroes come into contact with an alien and are forced to take a journey of self-discovery and outrun the government, all in order to make sure the alien gets home safely. What makes “Paul” unique is its shamelessness. The movie is funny because of how derivative it is. The movie willingly tips its hat to acknowledge its inspiration along the way, which comes from movies like, “The Day The Earth Stood Still” and “ET: The Extra-Terrestrial.”

            The cast, led by Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, turn in very funny performances. As usual, Seth Rogen, who lends his voice to the wayward alien, Paul, plays a vulgar slacker. But his lines take on a hint of bizarre wisdom when coming from the computer-generated alien.

            If you’re a fan of the alien genre, “Paul” is for you. It seems like it’s destined to become a cult-classic dissection of a reliable Hollywood formula the same way 2009’s “Fanboys” provided an esoteric examination of the “Star Wars” saga.

            This movie is rated R. I was surprised when I saw that on my ticket because nothing in the trailers gave me the impression that this is an R rated movie. But it certainly earns its rating through vulgar language. I still can’t believe how many little kids (we’re talking “under 10”) were in the audience. Parents and guardians beware: This ET has a potty-mouth.

4 UFOs out of 5!

Written by Tim

Edited by Aaron

"Rango" Review by Chris

"Rango" is a new pillar in the argument for actors losing all their screen time to animated characters. It invokes the same power of classic westerns with touches that can only be achieved through animation. The characters are real and their gritty designs fit their movie perfectly. The animation is fluid and real.

Johnny Depp is the voice of Rango, a pet lizard who dreams of being a great actor. After getting trapped in the desert he finds himself in the town of Dirt, Nev., and decides to act the role of the tough cowboy. Through his lies and a lucky accident, he's granted the title of Sheriff and given the task of finding water to save the town. Along the way, he battles outlaws and corrupted leadership. Isla Fisher plays Beans, Rango’s strong-hearted love interest while Ned Beatty and Bill Nighy provide the voices of the Mayor and Rattlesnake Jake. The cast is rounded out by countless characters who make the film adorably quirky.

The character designs and textures are true to western formulas. All the animals are covered in filth, cut up and wearing tattered rags. Every feather and scale is painstakingly crafted. The animation is gorgeous and invokes unbelievable realism while still sticking to its cartoon roots. Many of the classic western scenes are followed by over the top moments that could only be done with animation. It seems that each rock and grain of sand in the movie’s environment reacts perfectly to character movements.

The soundtrack adds to every scene, making the film feel grander through and through. The story is filled with twists and turns and addresses real issues in the world, all while the script is poetic and humorous. Most of the jokes are perfect for all ages, but bits and pieces are added in to appeal specifically to adults.

"Rango" is the kind of movie that stands the test of time. My hat goes off to Industrial Light and Magic and Director Gore Verbinski, who made the film quite a CG achievement and a must see for all moviegoers.

I give it five wind up plastic fish out of five!

Written by Chris
Edited by Aaron

"Battle: Los Angeles" Review by Chris

We’re screwed. If alien invasion movies teach us anything, it's this: if the government doesn't have a secret facility or the aliens don’t have a fatal aversion to water or country music, then we're going to go through hell before we get our planet back. Were the unthinkable to occur, would "Battle: Los Angeles" provide a different plan that might save our lives?

Aaron Eckhart plays Staff Sergeant Michael Nantz, a 20-year career soldier finishing up before retirement. Commanding a cookie cutter group of soldiers to evacuate civilians from what appears to be a meteor shower, Nantz is forced to fight the unknown when it becomes clear this is an unnatural disaster. Smashing into the West Coast, these aliens don't waste time giving warnings or hovering over our government buildings. They invade our biggest cities, and take down most of the west coast in a matter of hours. But this movie isn't about winning a war, it's about finding small victories. Nantz's only goal is to get as many survivors out as possible, but he and his group go above and beyond the call of duty, not only saving lives but finding enemy weak points to help tilt the battle in their favor.

Though the movie takes time to set up each character, it fails to connect with the audience early on, and often it's hard to tell who gets shot or killed. It's not until the numbers have thinned and their personalities develop that you start to feel involved in their lives. Epic visuals and military realism make this war devastatingly scary. Within minutes the city is burning and hope seems lost, making the comparatively small scale of Nantz’s quest that much grander. Aaron Eckhart does an excellent job as an inspiring leader, and if humanity’s forces have soldiers like him around, it bodes well for our side.

"Battle: L.A." gives a less fanciful perspective on the alien invasion, and while it takes time to get you situated into its universe, once there, you're cringing at every explosion and cheering at every conquest. It's a great movie for alien and military movie fans.

I Give it four flying saucers out of five.

Writen by Chris
Edited by Aaron

"The Last Lions" Review by Aaron Dentel-Post

It’s true: the lions are adorable. The cubs, with their golden fur and playfully splayed paws wrestle gaily while mother and father nuzzle and bask in the savannah’s setting sun. But I wouldn’t recommend seeing “The Last Lions” because the kitties are cute.

True to the form of its National Geographic heritage, the film’s frames are like shiny still shots, snatched straight from the magazine and imbued with life. Captured by Geographic’s masterful cinematographers, the African wilderness has never looked more beautiful, more alive and, in some ways, more gruesome and heartbreaking.

Shortly after the picture-perfect, family friendly introduction, the life of our main character, the lioness Ma di Tau, is thrown into disarray. When an invading pride of lions leaves her mate mutilated on the African plain with an eye missing, and she flees with their three surviving cubs and begins an epic fight for survival.

The story is brutal, from beginning to end, is graphically gruesome and often seems unkindly sad. Coupled with cinematography of epic scope, a story of this caliber speaks for itself, which makes it unfortunate that narrator Jeremy Irons does so much dramatization on his own. The script is heavy on dialogue and delves into lion psychology and characterizations more than necessary, which often bring serious scenes close to the brink of comedy.

But this isn’t to say the characters don’t convince. Quite the opposite — the heroes are inspiring, the villains bone chilling, and the crocodiles ominous. Ma di Tau’s two main antagonists are a silver-eyed rival lioness and the scar-faced leader of a water buffalo herd that she hunts to keep her cubs alive. During much of the film, our chief lioness walks a knife-edge of survival, and doesn’t always come out on top. The film is suspenseful and difficult to watch. Keep the children at home.

A cinematic experience to say the least, the movie also functions as a way to raise money for the Big Cats Initiative. While the prologue and ending credits contain conservational messages about the extinction of big cats at the hands of humans, this barely plays a part at all in the film. These informational messages come across as heavy handed attempts to guilt viewers into contributing money, in part because so little of the intended message comes across in the film.

Go see the movie. Seriously, go see it. It’s one of the few movies really worth seeing on the big screen because of its unparalleled cinematography. Just be prepared to have your heart melted, broken, re-broken, re-broken again, and then melted again.

"The Adjustment Bureau" Review by Tim

Do you believe in fate? Do you believe in choice? Do you believe in free will? Guess what? I don’t care! Want to know what I thought of “The Adjustment Bureau?” Now we’re talkin’!

 This movie follows Matt Damon as David, a youthful politician with a real shot at making it to the White House. Through a series of chance encounters, he finds his soul mate: the beautiful dancer, Elise (Emily Blunt). The two are so drawn to each other that it seems nothing can separate them. Challenge accepted! Enter: The Adjustment Bureau — a secret organization of fedora-wearing “Mad Men” wannabes (with the exception of John Slattery, who is in fact… a Mad Man) working behind the scenes to make sure we follow the path and destiny they set for us. The “Chairman,” is the one responsible for setting the plans, but he is also a thinly veiled analogy for a Judeo-Christian God. After David accidentally stumbles upon the Bureau and learns about its control of humankind, he discovers that he was never supposed to see Elise again after their initial meeting. Seeing her again would be a deviation from his plan, and he is forced to sever all communication with her. However, three years later, fate brings them together again through another random reunion. This time, David decides that nothing will keep them apart. By forcing The Adjustment Bureau’s hand, he learns that if he deviates from the plan and stays with Elise, not only would he lose his future of winning the presidency, it would also eliminate Elise’s destiny of becoming a world-famous dancer. Not willing to dash Elise’s dreams, he leaves her. Sometime later, he hears she’s getting married. Enlisting the help of a Henry, a sympathetic member of the Bureau, David plans to swoop in, stop the wedding, and live happily ever after with Elise — regardless of what the plan the bureau has in store for them.
The chemistry between Matt Damon and Emily Blunt is noteworthy. You have no problem believing these two are meant for each other. Anthony Mackie is instantly likable as a flawed (that is, “emotional”) caseworker. John Slattery and the always dependable Terrence Stamp are great as by-the-book Bureau men.
“The Adjustment Bureau” is a rare breed. It’s part chase-thriller, part love story, and part supernatural. But while it definitely has a science fiction slant, the love story is really the core of the film and it doesn’t rely on the sci-fi elements or special effects in order to keep your interest. It does, however, start off kind of slow and you’re often left wondering, “What is taking them so long?!”

I give it four fedoras out of five.


Written by Tim
Edited by Aaron

Video Game Movies by Chris

For years Hollywood has tortured my gamer side by producing terrible video game based movies that barely resemble the games they’re based on. The failure of these films is hard to understand — if writers and directors actually play the games they base their movies on, then the story should be already formed. It should also seem obvious that some games don't contain enough depth to create a movie from. Video games are an interactive medium, and as a result they can get away with simpler stories and slower character development. Is that what makes them harder to adapt than books and comics?

The history of video game movies had an inauspicious start with the movie "Super Mario Bros." Created in 1993, this film-flop was created back when Mario's story consisted of saving a princess from Bowser. That's it. But somehow its creators turned it into a story of parallel worlds, dinosaurs, and evolution. The movie itself is enjoyable in a "wow, this is just weird" sort of way, but because the title is "Super Mario Bros," everyone expected it to be, well, more like Mario. It felt like a movie someone had created by simply slapping together characters and terms from the Mario Bros. video games. For the fans, this movie was a crash-and-burn. It only made back half of what was spent creating it.

This history of lackluster adaptations continues with movies like "Double Dragon" and "Street Fighter." They left gamers wondering if the creators had ever picked up a controller or flipped through the instruction manuals. They got character names correct and some of the designs, but after that, nothing. But in 1995, gamers got their first Gem, albeit a dirty one. "Mortal Kombat" kept to the video game plot relatively intact and the designs for each character hold close to its source material. The film quality and visuals weren't great, but after early failures in adaptations it's understandable that a full effort wasn't put into it. Where "Mortal Kombat" truly fails is the dialogue. Most the lines are cheesy, and even talented actors could make anything of them. This resulted in the movie appealing more to teens than adults, but could still be enjoyed if you're ready to make fun of it with your friends.

With the years video games evolved to have more realistic graphics and deeper stories. This should have made adaptations simpler, but movies like "Lara Croft: Tomb Raider" and "Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within" proved that Hollywood had no clue what it was doing. Then "Resident Evil" came along in 2002 and was directed by Paule W. S. Anderson, one of the directors of "Mortal Kombat." You’d think experience and a bigger budget would have made the directing that much more effective. "Resident Evil" video games have in-depth, thought-out stories, and highly cinematic and scary moments. This should have been a simple adaptation, but Anderson chose to throw out all of the characters from the games and create a new one, Alice. He adds a few "Resident Evil" terms such as Umbrella and T-virus and keeps the monster designs and expects it to be good enough to deserve the "Resident Evil" title. Although it’s a good movie, it doesn’t live up to the name, and it left fans hoping the next one would be different.

"Resident Evil: Apocalypse" attempts to draw in more video game fans by adding fan favorite characters like Jill Valentine and Nemesis and borrows heavily from the third game, which those two starred in. If they had simply stuck to that formula, it would have made the movie passable. Instead, Anderson brings Alice back into the mix and the story of the first movie and third game collide in a plot explosion that leaves nothing in its wake. Yet, somehow the movie makes millions and "Resident Evil: Extinction" is born. Alice's journey continues and she meets even more video game fan favorites, but the story has already fallen so far off the rails that you can't see the plot of the games any more. But true to its zombie mold, the series keeps springing back to life and a fourth movie is created.


"Resident Evil: Afterlife" is simply a money eater. It was filmed in 3D to bring in the fans who’d go to any movie with that label. The story attempts to milk the popularity of "Resident Evil 5" by adding in monsters and characters from it, but makes no effort to explain the major changes in the way they act. Two of the best characters from the "Resident Evil" series, Chris Redfield and Albert Wesker, make appearances, but are given no back story or reason for existing in this bizarro world. Every character that isn't from the video games or Alice are only created to be zombie food. There’s no story to follow and no character to feel connected with. Jill Valentine returns at the end to set up yet another sequel, but since she has no back story in the plot of the film, it just means the finale of the film doesn’t make sense. This movie defines video game adaptations that are nothing more than moneymakers.

This isn't to say all video game movies are bad, but even the big successes have big flaws too. "Doom" does good work with the little bits supplied by the source material, but fails to capture the "solo survivor" feel and visuals from the games. "Silent Hill" succeeds at capturing the general concept and atmosphere of the first game, but the last half hour turns into gore porn to please "Saw" fans. "Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time" makes major changes to the original story, but most of them are to help bring it to the silver screen. Although fans may be able to find a lot to hate with it, it does entertain and may be the best live action video game adaptation to date. When it comes down to the wire, the best video game based movies are the animated ones — movies like "Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children" and "Resident Evil: Degeneration," but those movies require the viewer to have played the video games to understand the story.

Video game adaptations have failed on countless levels for countless reasons, but the biggest problem is always the creator. Directors and studios milk these pre-made plots for an easy buck, knowing the fans will flock to them hoping this one will be better than the last. But these days, video games have become interactive cinematic experiences and have plots and visuals that can rival most modern films. Thanks to technology and talented voice actors, the characters, too, are starting to resemble their live action counterparts. If Hollywood insists on continuing to make adaptations from video games, then they need to step their game up before fans say game over.

Writen by Chris
Edited by Aaron