I’m going to be honest with you. I’m not a huge fan of indie cinema, but “The Grey” started out as such a strong concept (Liam Neeson goes down in a plane crash and must fight wolves n’ stuff to survive in the wilderness) that I had to give it a chance. I mean — just typing that out made me feel like a manly man! So I went to the movies thinking this was going to be an all out slugfest between Liam Neeson and nature. What I got was a slow and gory existentialist romp in the woods with Liam Neeson, Dermot Mulroney, and a bunch of other guys I don’t know (Gosh, I wonder if they survive...).
Much of this movie is just disturbing. In the first 15 minutes of the movie, it is established that Liam Neeson feels like he has nothing to live for because his wife “left” him. Could that possibly mean more than one thing? Anyway, he puts a gun in his mouth and is about to pull the trigger until he hears the howl of a wolf. Ok, great. I get it. Nothing like a fistfight with a wolf to make you feel alive, right? Then Neeson’s character and several others board a plane bound for civilization. The plane crashes. Well directed. Terrifying. Where are the wolves? The small band of bloodied and broken survivors unite. Still no wolves! Dude keeps having visions of his wife... FINALLY, wolves are established as the villains. The wolves see the little group of survivors as a territorial threat, and hunt them—not to feed, just to kill. You know how wolves get sometimes…
And that’s it. That’s the rest of the movie. Run from the wolves. Build a fire. Neeson has visions of his wife. Run from the wolves again. Hide. Jump. Another fire. Damn, those wolves are smart. Run again.
This is not to say the film is without merit. Great care is taken to illustrate parallels between the men who must work together to survive and the pack hierarchy of the wolves hunting them. Though sometimes, it just comes across as clumsy — like when the group of men hears an unseen scrap between the wolves and Liam Neeson’s character explains that whatever the challenge was, the Alpha wolf settled it. Within 30 seconds, one of the other men challenges Neeson’s character as leader of the group. OHHHHHHHHHHH I get it! Alpha… but with people… I see what you did there… The film also makes extensive use of the “BOO!”-scare, when everything goes quiet and all of a sudden something jumps out with a loud noise. The scare technique itself is fine — it’s a classic movie trick, but if you use it too much it becomes cheap and predictable. Almost as cheap as the movie’s climax, which I’ll explain next.
So at the risk of spoiling a movie I strongly encourage you NOT to see, I’ll tell you that every character dies except for Liam Neeson’s, who finally ends up face to face with the Alpha male. They stare each other down. Neeson quickly tapes broken bottles between the fingers of one hand. In his other hand, he tapes a hunting knife. He knows this is it. His whole life has led him to this showdown. He lunges forward and so does the wolf. AAAAAAAND—Credits. Oh and his wife was dead the whole time. Those “visions” were flashbacks. She died in a hospital. I guess that’s supposed to make you feel okay that his death is imminent, but if this dude is so desperate to die, WHY DOES HE SPEND THE WHOLE MOVIE FIGHTING TO SURVIVE!?
Oh, and be sure to stay after the credits for a super-special 5 second clip of an indiscernible mess of fur and Liam Neeson. Magical. Worst movie ever? No. Huge disappointment? Totally, though all in all I really only have one issue with this film, which is that it isn’t very good.
One Severed Dog Head out of Five
Written by Tim
Edited by Aaron
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