"Man on a Ledge" review by Chris

When Nick Cassidy (Sam Worthington) is falsely jailed for stealing a diamond, he concocts a way for his brother Joey (Jamie Bell) to prove his innocence by stealing the diamond he was framed for stealing in the first place. Nick places himself on the ledge of a hotel building to distract attention from the diamond heist across the street. The final result is an amalgam of heist and action films.

If the premise hasn't already cued you in, "Man on a Ledge" has set itself up for a complicated and easily confusing plot. The idea that a hand full of average citizens can pull off an "Oceans 11" style heist is completely absurd, though it doesn't instantly doom the movie. What does kill this film is the abundance of plot holes. Characters practically teleport from one building to another to make the heist hang together, and don't expect an "Oceans 11" style reveal-all ending as several of these little mysteries remain unexplained.

Scattered throughout the story are subplots about each of the side characters. Most are interesting, but none get hashed out or have a real conclusion. They simply add to the complexity of the plot without successfully adding depth. For instance, Lydia Mercer (Elizabeth Banks) is chosen by Nick to talk him down from the ledge. She is reluctant because her last jumper didn't end well, but barely seems to blink before changing her mind and simply accepting Nick’s word that her instincts are solid.

Despite these problems, the movie does have several interesting aspects. The idea behind the movie is quite intriguing, if at times implausible, and actual heist is creatively staged. The climatic ending is well choreographed and has several thrilling moments, but these less mediocre moments are an ineffective salve to this gaping wound of a movie.

After first seeing "Man on a Ledge," I gave it an average rating. But the longer I’ve let the movie sink in, the more I realize what a mess it is. The redeeming aspects of this film are fleeting and the pitfalls are many.

One "Rare Diamond" out of Five

Written by Chris
Edited by Aaron

"Underworld: Awakening" review by Chris

After several years of whiny and overly sexual vampires, it feels good to be back on the action packed "team Selene." Over the top action has always taken priority over story in the "Underworld" series, despite having a deep and well thought out origin story. The series failed to explain it properly in the first trilogy, and "Underworld: Awakening" attempts to give the series a fresh start by re-establishing the rules.

The series has always been about the secret battle between lycans and vampires. When their battle is finally brought to the public eye, humans make it their mission to exterminate both species. It would have been nice to have a film depicting the particulars of this struggle, and while "Awakening" does an adequate job of establishing the history of the war, it mostly picks up at the end of the war and the resulting twelve-year coma of the main character, Selene (Kate Beckinsale). During her coma, both species have become all but extinct. Selene has unknowingly conceived a half-breed daughter named Eve (India Eisley), and the film follows Selene’s struggle to protect her daughter from the company that kept them both captive the last twelve years.

The idea of Selene having a daughter is given little context and begins the movie's confusing plot. Anyone who has not seen previous films will be missing little bits of information, so it’s wisest to view the preceding chapters. As little flaws in this film pile up, it becomes harder and harder to get lost in the vampire world. Adding to this disjunction are the characters themselves. Despite being a test subject her entire life, Eve is completely unscathed emotionally. And while all the side characters have interesting back-stories, none have enough screen time to get into any depth. Selene carries the entire story on her shoulders, and it weighs too much for one character.

Lets face it, if you're watching "Awakening" for its story, then you're missing the point. It is an action film. From beginning to end, the tension of battle never lets up, and this is what saves the film. You may not feel connected to the characters, but you never get bored. Every few minutes, either bullets are flying, something's blowing up, or someone's getting ripped to pieces. If the characters were normal humans, you'd question the realism, but with vampires and lycans you just accept it and get lost in the violence. More films should strive to have this level of fun with their fights.

"Underworld: Awakening" isn't going to be winning awards, but it’s not trying to win any either. If you can live without a developed story, you're in store for some brilliant action.

Three "Vampires" out of Five

“War Horse” Review by Aaron

Galloping across the farms and battlefields of Western Europe, Spielberg’s “War Horse” follows the harrowing journey of a down home horse, Joey, from dewy-eyed foal to a stalwart steed of war. Raised from a baby by Albert Narracott, played by Jeremy Irvine, the tale is one of abiding love between human and horse, and is based on a children’s book by Michael Morpurgo.

Opening on sweeping scenes of the English countryside, the first few minutes of “War Horse” initiate the bond between the two when Albert witnesses the foal’s birth. Albert’s father Ted, played by Peter Mullan, soon purchases the horse. Joey becomes Albert’s responsibility to train, and the two form a powerful bond, but financial troubles force Ted to sell Joey to the army when World War I breaks out. Albert cannot stand to part with his horse and enlists in the army to try and find him, which sets in motion this equine war epic.

As a protest against the violence of the First World War, “War Horse” is particularly effective because its main character (Joey) is so clearly a victim, and is bought and traded on a whim from the English countryside to the Somme. While there are certainly antagonists in the film, the roll call of characters is filled with victims of the war. Among a host of characters, circumstance is the only consistently confounding villain.

One major problem with this film is that it contains an odd dichotomy between the farm-filled fantasy land of England and the bloody battlefields of mainland Europe. The stark contrast between the two settings serves to underline the horrors of war but also makes the film seem oddly divided and conceptually incongruous. Spielberg attempts to smooth out this transition with (admittedly) beautiful cinematography work of a cavalry charge through French wheat fields, but there’s still a big thud when you fall into the trenches. It should also be noted that some moments in this film are undeniably but adorably cheesy.

I found that the cheesy moments in the movie mostly occur at the hands of Irvine, who often seems just a little too in love with his horse (granted, that’s the point of the story). Emily Watson plays Albert’s mother, Rose, as an admirable and forgiving wife and mother while David Thewlis plays their nasty landlord with distinction.

Whatever jarring moments the movie may have, “War Horse” is a stunning war epic about survival and strength of will, but also has hints of humor, like those when a British officer tells the equine Joey that, “You’re in the army now, son.” Joey’s journey through history’s most terrifying war is one that you’ll want to see in theaters for its wonderful cinematography.

Oh, and I should also mention that I tried my utmost to find a name for the horse that played Joey, but despite his obvious acting chops, he’s nowhere to be found. I’d love to see him on stage at the academy awards accepting an Oscar for this role.

Four Hooves Out Of Five

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"The Darkest Hour" Review by Chris

When two website designers find themselves trapped in Russia during an invasion of invisible aliens, they must band together with other survivors to find a way to fight back. But how can they fight an enemy they can't see? They soon figure out that the only way to locate the aliens is by their effect on electrical objects, and it is this battle with the invisible is what sets "The Darkest Hour" apart from most alien invasion films.

Emile Hirsch and Max Minghella do a admirable job as the protagonists of the film, but their dialogue would have felt more at home in a sitcom. They bounce back and forth between making situational jokes and actually trying to figure out how to survive. The remainder of the cast does equally well with what they’re given, but have far less to work with than the main characters. Most are clearly there to push the battle forward and become cannon fodder for the aliens.

The film also suffers from a lack of story consistency in its established rules, and uses very basic science to explain complicated things. They learn early on that the aliens can see electricity because they’re made of energy, and by complete happenstance they also discover that glass acts like an insulator and makes them invisible to alien sight. Later in the film, aliens attack after seeing three of the characters through glass windows, but only a few minutes later one character hides behind a glass table and is invisible. The film is riddled with these holes, but never seem to be enough to stop the plot.

The visuals for the aliens are one of the highlights of this film. Early on they can only be seen as flickers and waves, but they produce an interesting spectacle of lights when they vaporize humans into dust. Their lack of form adds to the suspense, but halfway through this effect is ruined when humans learn their weaknesses, and the aliens gain physical form. Despite being physically inconsistent, the aliens are well crafted and have a unique look to them. These invaders are the highlight of the film and the reason to keep watching.

The 3D effect is adequate, but adds nothing to the film and is generally tacked on, which is unfortunate considering most theaters are only showing it in 3D. No moment ever feels too flat, but nothing stands out as memorable. Even the fast moving aliens fail to add excitement to the 3D experience.

With its unique ideas and decent cast, "The Darkest Hour" had potential to be a different type of invasion film, but a lackluster script and little consistency drag it down. It has some new ideas but everything else is simply average.

2.5 "dusted humans" out of 5

Written by Chris
Edited by Aaron

“The Adventures of Tintin” Review by Aaron

     Tintin’s trademark is his terrific tuft, and let me tell you, Spielberg made sure to get the hair just right in his telling of “The Adventures of Tintin.” And so there it is — bouncy, reddish in color and perfectly undisturbed as Tintin and company set out on the trail of a hidden treasure, lost for centuries.

     Opening on a marketplace where Tintin, voiced by Jamie Bell, is having a street artist draw a portrait of him, the film has a star studded voice cast and a visual style that makes it seem more like Herge’s Tintin comics than the originals themselves. Thomson and Thompson, the two bumbling detectives, voiced by Nick Frost and Simon Pegg respectively, are spot on as they ineptly try to apprehend a pickpocket that has stolen each of their wallets multiple times.

     As the plot moves forward, Tintin purchases a model of the 17th century man-o-war Unicorn from a vendor, which initiates a treasure hunt across multiple continents when he discovers a clue inside the mast.

     Spielberg’s Tintin interpretation is a mash up of two of the original Herge comics, “Crab With the Golden Claws,” in which Captain Haddock (voiced by Andy Serkis) is introduced, and “Secret of the Unicorn,” which introduces Haddock’s ancestral home, Marlinspike Hall.

     The film is a beautiful homage to the Herge creation from both an artistic and a comedic standpoint, and its grasp of Tintin villains is also impressive. In “The Secret of the Unicorn” comic book for instance, the movie’s main villain, Ivanovich Sakharine, voiced by Daniel Craig, is a minor character who I’ve always thought seemed sinister. He always looked way more evil than the Bird Brothers, and more like a traditional Tintin antagonist.

     But my complaint about the film is that it’s too over the top, action wise, even for Tintin. Having a tank driving around with a building on top of it, for example, or Haddock and Sakharine sword fighting with cargo loading cranes seems unnecessary.

     For those who know little of Tintin, this film will be a hit, but for fans the film is a mixed blessing. While the feel of the movie, the voice acting and the art are fantastic, the film often seems over the top and the storyline a little too tangled between the plots of “Secret of the Unicorn” and “Crab With the Golden Claws.”

Four Blistering Barnacles Out Of Five

"Girl With A Dragon Tattoo" review by Chris

When a discredited journalist (Daniel Craig) is given a forty-year-old murder case, he enlists the aid of a girl with unique computer hacking skills and a dragon tattoo named Lisbeth Salander (Rooney Mara). As they put clues together and dig deeper into the mystery they face increasing danger from an anonymous killer while Lisbeth confronts the demons of her past. The danger they face helps drive the story forward, but doesn't feel real till later in the film. What makes the movie fresh and keeps you watching is Lisbeth, as she careens through the film, knocking all obstacles out of her way.

While many aspects of this movie have been seen before (the mystery is predictable and the main character, Mikael Blomkvist, is fairly standard for the genre) Lisbeth is completely unique. She is as socially awkward as she is merciless in dealing with her enemies.

Early in the film as Mikael is taking the first steps in the mystery, Lisbeth is facing twisted hardships and responding to them in equally twisted manners, and her methods are so dark that you'll find yourself wishing the story would stop cutting back to Mikael and his comparatively normal life on the frozen island of a wealthy industrialist Swedish family trying to solve a murder.

On the surface, this is a mystery about a killer of women, but "Girl With A Dragon Tattoo" is actually a character piece. Rooney Mara plays Lisbeth with dark precision and dangerous purpose and steals the focus of the film. Mikael's story, although more easily relatable, takes a back seat to Lisbeth’s, which centers on sexual abuse.

From every technical stand point this movie shines. The cinematography is well crafted and adds eeriness to every moment. It shows you enough of the most brutal moments to disturb you without overly disgusting you. The soundtrack adds even more to the creepy nature of every moment.

But everything isn't perfect in this mystery thriller. As mentioned before, many aspects of the story aren’t really new. The beginning of the movie also moves at a sluggish pace, which works well for establishing Lisbeth as a character, but makes Mikael seem slow and incompetent as an investigator. Several scenes and images are disturbingly brutal and keep this from being a movie for all audiences.

Powerful acting, great cinematography and a unique titular character make this film a great experience, but its handful of flaws and dark images will keep it from appealing to all audiences. For fans of mysteries and brutal visuals, this will be a winner.

4 "Dragon Tattoos" out of 5

Written by Chris
Edited by Aaron